Free Willie

This may be my last post for a very long time. Right now I'm holed up in my church office taking sanctuary from the authorities, but at any moment I know they're going to kick the door in and haul me away. I was feeling fine till last night when I clicked on the Chicago Tribune web page to check the news. At first it was just another day in Chicago. A few shootings, a little corruption. But then I scrolled down and saw a STORY of a dad arrested and charged with domestic battery on his three kids. His crime? Shooting his kids with an AIRSOFT GUN.

Now I don't know the specifics of that particular incident, and I guess you could abuse your kids with one, but I've shot my kids many times with our Airsoft guns. A couple of my kids have gone off with their friends for a whole day of Airsoft wars. Airsoft guns are similar to a BB gun except they shoot plastic BB's. You want to be sure to wear a mask (you could put your eye out ya know) and a heavy long sleeve shirt helps too. But they are designed to shoot each other. Sometimes when we have friends over we suit the kids up in winter coats and have them run around the back yard while we try to pick them off. My kids used to think it was fun, now I'm just a common criminal.

I wish I would have known all of this when I was growing up. Sometimes when us kids were getting on my mom's nerves (my sister's fault I'm sure) she'd make us go outside and lock the door behind us. She also kept a yard stick (back when they were made of real wood) on top of the kitchen cabinets for a "rod of correction."

When I was about 10 I was at the neighbor's house and we were wrestling over something that we both wanted. Somehow in pulling back and forth I caught a forearm in the mouth and broke one of my teeth in half. I went running home and the next day it was a trip to the dentist for some work. His mom called to check up on me and we were playing together again the day after. Not one call to the lawyer or the police. What was I thinking?

Ethan has scrapes all over his arm from a game of Uth Group Capture the Flag in the woods last night. When will we stop these games of violence that hurt our kids? Jeremiah has cuts and scrapes on his legs from Kid's Camp last week. I think I'll sue them to teach them a lesson (It's not the money, it's the principle). Isaac's at a waterpark today with a friend's youth group. We told him to wear long sleeves and sit in the shade all day. Don't go on any of the waterslides, they're slick!

So if you don't hear from me again I have started my new jail ministry. Hopefully I'm not in with the hardened criminals but people more on my own level. Men who had fireworks, rode bikes without helmets, and talk on the cell phone when they drive. Men who don't to like wear coats when it's cold, who eat meat, and shoot their kids with Airsoft guns.

You can have my Airsoft gun when you pry it from my COLD DEAD HANDS.


Be Refreshed!

Proverb of the Day: Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a halter for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!

Scripture of the Day: Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Quotes of the Day: It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. ~Lane Olinghouse

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. ~Robert A. Heinlein

The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents. ~Charles DeLint

My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time. ~Karen Brown

Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend. No servants to come between. These are the boys who are born to the best fortune. ~Andrew Carnegie